Are you having problems expressing your feelings to the one you love? Does your partner run away every time you try? If so, this could be good news for you: In fact, there are several ways to better emotional communication and improve your relationship.
Let’s start with initiating small talk. You may believe talking about a new car or even politics is far from connecting emotionally, but research tells us these supposedly petty details are actually more likely to strengthen your close emotional attachment to your partner than a deep and heavy discussion of your feelings.
You may also believe you know all the bits and pieces of your partner’s life, but it’s a way of growing closer. Talking about yourself is even fine, but don’t be full of it. Ensuring a perfect balance between talking and listening is challenging in most relationships, but even more difficult as you get to know each other, so it’s imperative that you both get the opportunity to talk and listen.
By the way, listening, is an actual skill, and improving yours is possible through a technique known as called “active listening.” This is a form of listening where you acknowledge not just that you are listening, but that you also understand what the other is saying.
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Understanding may be communicated with a sincere smile, maybe or a phrase, such as “I do understand” – if you actually did understand. Interestingly, interruptions for clarification or even disagreements may also be involved in active listening.
Doing Communication The Right Way
If you must interrupt, always ask permission. “Sorry, but I just have to ask you a question” is an appropriate way to do it. Then ask something that is obviously relevant to what your partner was talking about. If you disagree with the general concept or with how they handle of a situation, wait until they are done talking before you express your disagreement. If you think you need clarification on something, ask them politely, never with an accusatorial tone.
The moment you know of some of the veiled shared moments you’re having with your loved one, search for ways to spend more “insignificant” experiences together from day to day. If one or both of you are not very good at communicating your feelings or even talking about the most basic details of your day, don’t fret. Go back to the first few paragraphs.
Remember, just spending time doing seemingly meaningless activities with your partner, from reading the paper to doing laundry and the rest, is a lot more important to your relationship than talking about your feelings, and that is according to research.